Social Media, Custody & Co-Parenting

Potential Impacts on Custody Outcomes

  • Judges may use social media to assess parent involvement, behavior, and communication skills or tendencies.

  • Posts showing self-interest over child interest can impact custody.

  • Limiting social media use and consulting an attorney is advised.

  • Judges may use social media to see parent involvement in the child's life.

Involved Parenting

A man and a young girl are sitting at a table, smiling and engaging in conversation. The girl appears to be showing something in a book to the man, and they are in a kitchen with a brick wall in the background.

  • Posts showing risky behavior may indicate a parent is unfit for custody.

Inappropriate Behavior

  • Disparaging the other parent can negatively impact a custody case.

Negative Comments

A pregnant woman smiling and looking down at a young girl who is hugging her belly, in a bright indoor setting.

  • Posts that show a shopping spree for material items CAN indicate that they are more interested in themselves than their child.

Spending Money on Oneself

  • Limiting social media use protects you, but not always necessary.

  • Be mindful of what you post.

  • Avoid negative comments about the co-parent, and negative comments all-together.

  • Review your accounts, no matter how far back in time.

  • Consult with an attorney before making major decisions.

Protecting Yourself

If you've already made a post that could affect your custody case, you should contact your attorney as soon as possible.

A woman and two children lying on a blanket outdoors, reading a book together with a picnic basket and soccer ball nearby.

Common Disagreements on Kids & Social Media

  • Parents often disagree on children's access to social media, content sharing, time limits, privacy settings, and monitoring.

  • Discussions should prioritize child well-being to avoid disputes.

Disagreements about the appropriate age & how social media is used are both common

  • Which social media platforms can the child access?

  • What kind of content can be shared?

  • Time limits?

  • Privacy settings

  • Safety Controls

  • Parent access:

    • Must the child “friend” their parents or permit visibility of their posts?

    • Should the child share passwords?

    • Is it OK for parents to check private messages? Public content?

A young girl sitting on a couch with a downcast expression, and an older woman, possibly her mother, offering comfort with a hand on her shoulder.

Establishing limits is not solely aimed at preventing children from being drawn into social media algorithms that promote excessive scrolling.

  • Unrestricted usage can also expose them to inappropriate material, such as violence or pornography, and pose risks from online predators.

  • Parents are strongly advised not to depend solely on tools like parental controls, but to regularly monitor use & time spent on social media to safeguard their child.

Conversations regarding social media restrictions should prioritize the child's well-being rather than merely reflecting parental preferences. The latter part is a recipe for disputes.

A boy covering his face with his hands while standing at a desk in a room with a woman and a man in the background having a disagreement.

Mindful Tips

Anything shared online can be used as evidence.

  • Privacy settings can be deceptive.

  • Misinterpreted posts can have legal consequences.

  • Social media can validate alibis.

  • Be cautious and think of children when posting.

  • Anything you share can potentially be used as evidence no matter how harmless it appears. Be mindful of all the people who can potentially see it, judges, attorneys etc.

Nothing Truly Vanishes

  • Seemingly harmless jokes are misinterpreted without context. 

  • An innocent post may become proof of wrongdoing or intent.

How Posts Can Be Misinterpreted

Beyond Legal Risks

Two young children, a boy and a girl, sitting on a couch, focused on their handheld devices in a living room.

  • Consider the personal & professional impacts, such as future employment, relationships, and reputation. Make sure your social profiles are always tightened up.

  • Think Twice: If you wouldn't want it on a giant screen in a courtroom, don’t post it.

  • Privacy Settings: Stay up-to-date with updates. Apps & privacy settings change.

Tips for Safe Use

  • Even if your privacy settings are high or you use seemingly anonymous platforms, online privacy can be deceptive. Assume that anything can be accessed.

Private Isn't Always Private

Young girl sitting on a couch, holding a colorful smartphone, with a worried or confused expression, and her hand resting on her forehead.

  • Custody: A photo of a night out is used in court to question parenting abilities.

  • Insurance Claims: Dad claims serious injuries & posts workout photos, claim denied.

  • Employment: Co-worker calls out, shares a photo from the beach, the boss sees it…

Real-Life Blunders

  • Social media can confirm a location & time that validates an alibi.

Social Media CAN Exonerate You

  • Posts are used as evidence to form opinions on you, your judgement, & standard of living. These factors influence outcomes in court. Regrettable posts have consequences.

Post Positive

Even the most loving parents can make mistakes. Be mindful and think about your children when posting online.

Group of children sitting outdoors, each holding and using a smartphone.

Co-Parenting and Social Media Use

  • Co-parents should establish guidelines for children's social media use, considering age and maturity.

  • Disagreements on boundaries are common. Understanding potential conflicts can help prevent disputes.

Co-Parenting Considerations For Social Media Use

It’s inevitable that divorced or unmarried parents raising children together will face this issue at some point. Ideally, co-parents should work together to establish clear guidelines regarding their children's use of social media, documenting their mutual understanding in parenting plans that can serve as a reference for any future disagreements.

A crucial consideration for parents is the age of their children. Many popular platforms, including TikTok and Instagram, require users to be at least 13 to create an account. However, the maturity level of the child is equally important. A less mature child might be better off waiting longer before engaging with social media; for instance, some say social media use should be delayed until the age of 16, although individual needs will vary among children.

Parents may consider setting boundaries for social media usage. This is often where disagreements between co-parents surface. What one parent perceives as reasonable may be seen as too permissive (or excessively restrictive) by the other. Understanding these potential points of conflict can aid in anticipating and possibly preventing disputes.

A young boy with curly hair lying on a bed, wearing a mustard yellow sweater and dark jeans, looking at a device in his hands.
A young woman lying on her stomach on a bed, looking at her smartphone with a surprised or shocked expression.
A young boy sitting on a couch with a serious expression, flanked by a man and a woman, both appearing to be talking about him, in a home setting.

Educational Article:

“Social Media Considerations: Child Custody Disputes & Co-Parenting”

Pamela and a young boy smiling and hugging, with text about child custody and co-parenting social media considerations from Suncoast Credit Union.

Whether you are in the thick of a child custody dispute or trying to maintain a solid co-parenting relationship, posting on social media has risks.

Properly navigating the social media landscape is critical to avoiding pitfalls, which can have devastating effects on the children.